In a stunning twist no one saw coming—not even Woj—Mitch Kupchak has returned as General Manager of the Charlotte Hornets, wielding more than just spreadsheets and scouting reports. According to sources close to the franchise, Kupchak has re-entered the fray with “the calm of Yoda and the negotiation tactics of a Sith Lord.”
Kupchak, who previously stepped down from the GM role in 2024 after a rocky stretch of seasons, made his return official early Thursday morning. But this wasn’t your typical comeback. Team insiders claim the front office had been consulting Kupchak in secret over the past few months under the codename: Project Force Rebuild.
“He’s been meditating, training, and apparently studying film in a remote location outside of Asheville,” said one team source, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “He came back with a lightsaber-shaped pen and said, ‘This time, we draft with precision.’”
Hornets fans, long fatigued by underwhelming draft choices and player development woes, were both stunned and cautiously hopeful at the news.
On his first day back, Kupchak made waves by:
Trading for a top 10 pick in 2026 using what one league insider described as “pure psychological Jedi mind tricks.”
Re-signing LaMelo Ball to an extension that somehow saved cap space.
Hiring an assistant coach team made entirely of former NBA players who owe Kupchak personal favors.
One anonymous league executive commented, “I don’t know what happened to Mitch in that year off, but he came back looking 10 years younger and talking like Phil Jackson crossed with Obi-Wan Kenobi.”
Kupchak addressed the media briefly, saying only, “The force will be with Charlotte… always.”
Hornets co-owner Rick Schnall added, “We knew Mitch had unfinished business. And when he walked in wearing a hooded robe and dropped a full rebuild plan on the table, we just said, ‘Yes, Master Kupchak.’”
As the Hornets prepare for Summer League, the basketball world watches with curiosity and disbelief. Will Mitch Kupchak’s return really change the fate of Buzz City?
