SHOCKING NEWS: Chris Cohan Offers $90 Million to Reclaim Warriors from Joe Lacob

In an utterly stunning turn of events that has left the NBA world reeling, former Golden State Warriors owner Chris Cohan has reportedly offered $90 million in cash to take back control of the franchise from current owner Joe Lacob.

Sources close to the situation say the move came after Cohan, 75, awoke from what he describes as a “15-year spiritual hibernation” and had a sudden realization: “That team was meant to be mine.”

The Offer No One Expected

According to leaked documents, Cohan hand-delivered a velvet briefcase filled with $90 million in untraceable bills to the Chase Center, accompanied by a handwritten note that read:

“I made a mistake. Let me fix it. I built this dynasty… sort of.”

Joe Lacob, initially assuming it was a prank or part of a new Netflix mockumentary, allegedly responded with confusion:

“Ninety million? For what exactly? Our parking lot?”

🧠 A “Vision Quest” Sparked the Bid

In a bizarre press conference held outside a Sausalito crystal shop, Cohan explained that his offer followed a “vision quest” in the Mojave Desert, during which he was visited by a ghostly apparition of Baron Davis dunking on Andrei Kirilenko.

“That moment, the ‘We Believe’ era, it all came rushing back. I thought, ‘Why did I ever sell this team?'”

 Lacob Laughs — Then Laughs Harder

Lacob, who led the Warriors to four NBA championships and turned the franchise into a multi-billion-dollar global brand, reportedly burst into laughter upon receiving the offer.

“Look, $90 million might get you Steph Curry’s left sneaker,” said Lacob. “But the Warriors? That’s a no.”