In a truly unexpected twist that has left Celtics fans speechless, defensive anchor and emotional leader Marcus Smart has reportedly been suspended indefinitely after violating a newly implemented—and very strange—team policy.
According to (fake) sources inside the organization, Smart was caught violating Rule 47B of the Celtics’ offseason code of conduct, which clearly states:
“No player shall bring farm animals, live or inflatable, into team facilities for motivational purposes.”
The incident unfolded earlier today when Smart allegedly arrived at the Auerbach Center for practice with a full-grown goat dressed in a Celtics jersey and labeled “Heart & Hustle.” Witnesses say Smart told the team, “If y’all want to win Banner 18, you gotta train with a GOAT — literally.”
While the team initially found the stunt hilarious, things quickly took a turn when the goat reportedly chewed through a video analysis monitor and knocked over a nutrition cart containing Jayson Tatum’s custom smoothies.
Head coach Joe Mazzulla was said to be furious, calling the stunt “unnecessary, unsafe, and a violation of common goat sense.”
The Celtics issued a brief (and fictional) statement:
“We appreciate Marcus’s passion, but the safety and professionalism of our environment must come first. He will be suspended indefinitely while we review this incident.”
Social media has exploded with reactions. Fans are divided, with #LetTheGOATPlay trending on X (formerly Twitter), while others argue that Smart “took the heart and hustle thing a bit too far.”
No official word yet on when (or if) Smart will return — but one thing’s for sure: Boston has never seen a suspension quite like this one.
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