CAN’T BELIEVE HE IS GOING: MIAMI DOLPHINS HEAD COACH MIKE MCDANIEL RESIGNS, RETURNS TO JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS**
Miami, FL
In a move that has stunned the football world, Mike McDaniel, the charismatic and innovative head coach of the Miami Dolphins, has officially **resigned**. Even more shocking? He’s **returning to the Jacksonville Jaguars**, not as a coach — but as their new **General Manager and Executive VP of Football Weirdness**.
> “I’ve always wanted to manage spreadsheets, salary caps, and the wild chaos of front office politics,” McDaniel joked in his resignation press conference, wearing his signature hoodie and sipping cold brew coffee from a Jaguars-themed tumbler. “Coaching? Been there. Done that. Time to boss around some coaches for a change.”
### 🐬 Miami in Shock
The Dolphins, who made playoff appearances in 2022 and 2023 under McDaniel, are reportedly “blindsided” by the decision. Sources close to the organization say that McDaniel handed in his resignation via a TikTok video, soundtracked by *Goodbye My Lover* by James Blunt, featuring highlights of his most confusing play calls.
> “He left us a playlist and a binder labeled ‘good luck,’” said Dolphins QB Tua Tagovailoa. “We’re all still processing.”
### 🐆 Why Jacksonville?
McDaniel began his NFL journey in Jacksonville years ago as a low-level assistant. Now, he returns to **”finish what he started”** — which, according to insiders, may include building an all-analytics offense led by ChatGPT as offensive coordinator.
> “We believe in Mike’s vision,” Jaguars owner Shad Khan said. “Even if that vision includes installing a jacuzzi in the draft war room and replacing pregame warmups with guided meditation.”
### 🧠 What’s Next?
McDaniel’s reported plans as Jaguars GM include:
* **Hiring a head coach who’s never watched football**, to bring a “pure outsider’s edge.”
* **Drafting a punter in Round 1**, because “special teams deserve love too.”
* Turning Jacksonville’s stadium into a co-working space on weekdays.
Miami is now in search of a new head coach. Early rumored candidates include:
* Former NFL QB Ryan Fitzpatrick (the beard is already playoff-ready)
* Dan Marino (if he ever finds his headset)
* AI-based coach “CoachBot3000,” currently being trained on old Bill Belichick pressers.
