BREAKING NEWS: Vancouver Canucks All-Star ⭐ Elias Pettersson Suspended by MLB After Positive Drug Test
I In a story no one saw coming (mostly because it makes zero sense), Vancouver Canucks all-star forward Elias Pettersson has been suspended by Major League Baseball (MLB) after testing positive for a banned substance… despite not playing baseball.
🚨 Yes, you read that correctly.
According to sources close to the situation, Pettersson was randomly tested during a visit to a Seattle Mariners game last week, where he threw out the ceremonial first pitch. Results came back showing traces of “Maple Syrup-Xtreme,” a performance-enhancing substance only legal in Sweden and select Tim Hortons drive-thrus.
MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred held a confused press conference this morning.
“While Elias Pettersson is not, technically, a professional baseball player—or under our jurisdiction—we felt it was important to send a message,” Manfred said. “No one is above the law. Even Swedish hockey players attending baseball games.”
The NHL released a short statement in response:
“We have no idea what’s going on either. Please stop calling.”
Pettersson, currently training for the Canucks’ 2025-26 season, seemed amused by the situation.
“I just wanted to see a baseball game. I didn’t even know MLB could suspend people who don’t play baseball. Is this a prank show?”
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