BREAKING NEWS: Rocco Baldelli Signs Massive $25 Million Contract Extension With Minnesota Twins
In a shocking turn of events that has stunned baseball insiders and fans alike, Minnesota Twins manager Rocco Baldelli has reportedly signed a five-year, $25 million contract extension, solidifying his place as one of the highest-paid managers in Major League Baseball.
Sources close to the organization say the deal includes not just a hefty salary boost but also performance incentives, a personal cryotherapy chamber in the clubhouse, and lifetime supply of Juicy Lucy burgers from Matt’s Bar.
“A Statement of Belief in the Future”
Twins president of baseball operations Derek Falvey called the move “a bold step into a new era,” despite the team’s rollercoaster performance over the past few seasons.
“Rocco’s leadership, adaptability, and calm under pressure have helped shape the culture of this team,” said Falvey in a press conference. “This extension is about more than just wins. It’s about investing in a vision. A 25 million dollar vision.”
When asked whether Baldelli’s new contract could have been impacted by the team’s recent last-place finish in the AL Central, Falvey shrugged and said, “The standings are just numbers. So is 25 million.”
A Manager’s Reaction
Baldelli, known for his even-keeled demeanor, appeared at ease while sipping cold brew and wearing flip-flops at the official announcement.
“I didn’t expect it, honestly,” he said. “But I’m not gonna say no to a few extra zeros.”
“Look, this is Minnesota. We survive blizzards, playoff droughts, and hot dog races. I’m honored to lead this team into another exciting decade—preferably with fewer bullpen meltdowns.”
League-Wide Reaction
MLB executives were reportedly “stunned” by the size of the contract, with one unnamed AL manager quipping, “I guess managing a .500 team really does pay off now.”
Others, however, saw it as a trailblazing move that could change how teams value clubhouse culture over just win-loss records.)
