In what can only be described as the most emotionally confusing Fourth of July in recent NBA memory, former Milwaukee Bucks small forward and five-time All-Star Marques Johnson was reportedly “utterly despondent” after the team announced the signing—not of a star player—but of a new mascot.
The Bucks unveiled “Bango Jr.”, a Gen Z-inspired sidekick to long-time fan favorite Bango the Buck, during a surprise halftime ceremony at the Summer League opener in Las Vegas. But what was meant to be a family-friendly PR stunt has sent shockwaves through the alumni community—none more than Marques Johnson, who appeared on a local radio show soon after, sounding crestfallen.
“I gave my blood, sweat, and afro sheen to that franchise,” Johnson said. “And now they replace legacy with… a TikTok-dancing baby deer in sunglasses? I can’t even.”
Sources close to Johnson say he had expected a “major free agency move” — perhaps a trade for a veteran wing, or even an executive role for himself — not the hiring of a mascot with a verified Instagram and a line of NFTs.
Johnson was last seen leaving Fiserv Forum in a vintage Bucks warm-up suit, muttering something about “the soul of the game” and “kids these days with their Fortnite antlers.”
Team officials have since reached out, offering Johnson an honorary role as Mascot Mentor, but his agent says he is “taking some time to reflect.”
The Bucks organization has declined to comment, though a team spokesperson did say, “We love Marques. We also love Bango Jr. There’s room for both. Even if Bango Jr. can moonwalk.”
Would you like a more serious version or want me to build this into a full-length fake article with quotes, reactions, and a fake twee
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