BREAKING NEWS: Dallas Mavericks All-Stars Luka Dončić and Kyrie Irving Suspended Indefinitely After Violating MLB Law and Refusing to Comply With League Directive
In a shocking and bizarre twist that has sent ripples across the sports world, Dallas Mavericks All-Stars Luka Dončić and Kyrie Irving have been suspended indefinitely, not by the NBA, but allegedly under the authority of Major League Baseball (MLB) after reportedly violating an obscure cross-league ethics regulation during an off-season charity softball event.
According to multiple completely unreliable sources, the star duo “blatantly disregarded MLB conduct guidelines” by using aluminum bats in a wooden bat charity league, taunting umpires with trick passes, and—most controversially—refusing to wear stirrup socks in accordance with MLB’s retro-styled event dress code.
Eyewitnesses claim Dončić hit a 580-foot home run off former Rangers pitcher Cole Hamels before high-fiving Kyrie, who had allegedly been riding a unicycle between bases.
“They brought NBA energy to an MLB fundraiser and just… unleashed chaos,” said a stunned official. “We had mascots crying in the dugout.”
When approached for comment, both players reportedly declined to speak, with Dončić mumbling something about “global rules being an illusion,” while Kyrie simply stared at the sky and whispered, “Time is a flat circle.”
Despite the fact that MLB has no jurisdiction over NBA players, a temporary and wholly symbolic suspension has been enforced—one the Mavericks have called “confusing but kind of impressive.”
