In a stunning development that has sent shockwaves through the basketball world, Indiana Hoosiers head coach Mike Woodson has announced his departure from the program to join the newly formed Intergalactic Basketball League (IBL). Woodson, who has been at the helm of Indiana since 2021, cited an unconventional reason for his decision: he’s “tired of earthly coaching” and ready to take his skills to the stars.
“I’ve coached in the NBA, I’ve coached in college, but I’ve always wondered—what’s out there?” Woodson said in a hastily arranged press conference. “The fundamentals are the same, but I’ve been promised the chance to work with athletes who defy gravity, literally.”
Details about the IBL remain scarce, but sources indicate it will feature teams composed of extraterrestrial talent, advanced AI players, and genetically enhanced humans. Woodson’s first assignment is reportedly to lead the Mars Meteors, an expansion team looking to establish dominance in the league.
While Hoosiers fans are in disbelief, athletic director Scott Dolson wished Woodson well, albeit with visible confusion. “We were planning for next season, and now we’re… looking for a replacement. We respect Coach Woodson’s decision, but, uh, we didn’t see this coming.”
Woodson has declined to confirm whether Earth-based players will be recruited to join him, but he did leave a cryptic message: “The Hoosiers are great, but have you ever seen a seven-foot alien dunk from half-court?”
Indiana will now begin an urgent coaching search as fans process this unprecedented departure. Meanwhile, Woodson is reportedly preparing for a journey beyond the stratosphere, seeking a championship in
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