HUGE SETBACK
Tottenham Hotspur Fans Stunned as Harry Kane “Retires” to Pursue Career in Professional Snail Training
In a shocking turn of events, Harry Kane, the beloved Tottenham Hotspur star striker, has “retired” from football to pursue a career in professional snail training.
According to sources, Kane has always had a secret passion for snails and has decided to leave the pitch to focus on training his slimy friends for competitive snail racing.
“But in a surprise twist, it was revealed that Kane’s snail, ‘Shelly’, has been secretly training him to become the world’s fastest human snail hybrid,” said a source close to the team.
