Orlando Pirates Football Club Signs World’s First Teleporting Player!

Mysterious Striker, ‘Zoran Teleportović’, Joins Team in Shocking Move”

In a stunning move that has left the football world reeling, Orlando Pirates Football Club has announced the signing of the world’s first teleporting player, Zoran Teleportović!

According to sources close to the team, Teleportović, a mysterious striker from a remote village in Eastern Europe, possesses the ability to teleport short distances on the field, leaving defenders baffled and goalkeepers bewildered.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Orlando Pirates coach, Steve “The Scurvy Dog” Smith. “Zoran just disappears and reappears wherever he wants! It’s like having a superpower on our side!”

Teleportović’s signing has sparked both excitement and controversy, with some fans hailing the move as a game-changer and others crying foul play.